The vast majority of the days on trail are nothing but filled with adventure, excitement and laughter. The rest of them, a very small minority, are crushing, heartbreaking and make me want to shut the world out. Today was such a day.
Half and Half hugged us goodbye in the morning and set off with Fitz and IPA. The rest of us were slightly behind due to different reasons. Although she left us with the thought of not seeing us again for at least a month, I wasn’t about to let her walk away without trying my absolute hardest to catch up again. By the time we got back to trail, Mash and me were about an hour behind them. A large gap to bridge, but not impossible.
Not soon after, an unknown figure waved at us from the trail. ‘Spice?’ I said. She had been away from the rest of us, along with Stinger and Mouse, for a while now. She’d decided to start going faster and had pulled ahead of the other two.
No time to chat for long though, we had to catch Half and Half! Mash and I raced further, pushing ourselves onward with our trekking poles in stride with the pace of our swift footsteps. Our feet were rested and our packs light, rarely had we been faster. Before our quick lunch break, we found IPA, telling us they were not that far ahead. After the break, I put on the Ruiner soundtrack, reserved for when things really need to go fast.
The first song in, my blood started pumping, all psyched up for an afternoon of living up to my trail name. I gripped my poles even tighter, sped up my pace, stopped looking at the surroundings to solely focus on the lay of the trail, .. when we suddenly saw Half and Half, Fitz and Lavalamp ahead of us. We caught them early, before I really had the time to get going. What an anticlimax.
The five of us hiked together until the Belden highway, the mood somewhat somber. Partially because of Half and Half’s imminent departure and partially because of the devastation the wildfires had wreaked upon this land. It really did look like Mordor. A cloud of ash surrounded us wherever we walked, legs and toes pitch black after a while. On the way down to the highway, we crossed Sensei and the remains of his group. The man was still equally bewildered, but had at least a shirt with two sleeves this time.
In Belden, we took a last swim in the river, a fitting way to say goodbye to Half and Half, as she always loved to jump into the water whenever she could. And then it was time. We were going to stay near Belden, while Half and Half’s schedule dictated her to go on. Lavalamp decided last minute to go with her for two days and meet us back in Chester. She put on her pack, said her final goodbyes and left. I’ve said farewell so many times to people here, but this one was the worst. I felt awful and powerless. She’d been our companion for so long now and suddenly she was gone, with no guarantee that any of us would see her again. I’ll remember Half and Half as our most wholesome group member, who wasn’t afraid to shed her layer of Canadian friendliness and come at any of us with a funny jab. See you down the trail, Half and Half.
The heartbreak of these moments is one of the few aspects of the trail that are harder than I anticipated beforehand. And it wasn’t over yet. An RV park near Belden was to be our campsite that night. A typical rural place, not awful, not amazing. There we had our last night with Fitz. She had to be in Paradise, near Belden, the next day to visit Stinger’s mom for a package, which would set her back 1.5 days from us. I absolutely hated the thought of going on without her. It felt as if the whole group was suddenly falling apart. She was keen to catch up to us again in about a week, which softened the blow for me. Mash and me are planning to bury some drinks for her on trail at the halfway marker (which is coming up soon) to motivate her to keep going.
Fitz unsuccessfully chased the resident cat for most of the evening. A trail angel at the RV park cooked food for us and was very eager (and a little pushy) for conversation and kept trying to offer us drinks. I ignored him and hoped he would fuck off so I could be alone.
I really hated today.