Time for a tale of tragedy and sadness! It began in the morning, when Lucky Charm’s eye fell upon a dead moth lying on the trail. It was a beautiful, big moth, a deep orange hue tinting its fragile wings. Lucky Charm got the idea to pin the moth to her cap, as an ornament. Mash impaled it neatly on there, the wings fluttering softly with every gust of wind.
Hikers passing by commented in awe on the seemingly alive moth atop Lucky Charm’s head. Every time she proudly said it was dead and was only animated by the wind.
At our lunch break, she took off her cap and told us about all the remarks she’d gotten that day. We took a closer look at it to see if the wind throughout the day had damaged the wings. Only, it seemed like the moth was in a different position than that morning. It was curled up then, like it had dried out. Now however, it had its legs and sensors out. Before we could analyze it more, its wings moved slightly. This time there was no wind.
Horrified, Lucky Charm realized her ornament wasn’t so lifeless after all. We took it off the hat and it kept making minuscule movements. I took it away, as Lucky Charm couldn’t bear to look at it anymore. It wouldn’t have much left of its life, after being impaled for a whole day, but to be fair, it was close to dying anyway, baking on the trail. The moth had probably never travelled this far, but I doubt it liked its way of transportation. And that was the end of the Moth Arc.
I wonder if I have become immune to all the beauty around me. By all metrics, the views and surroundings are still breathtaking. Yet I need to make a conscious effort to appreciate it. That led me to believe that this is why my mind wandered down some darker paths again today. It is at times like this that everything just feels wrong. Every step I take is off, every plan I make in my head seems silly and ridiculous, every sentence I speak does not sound like I think it should. I thought these kind of days wouldn’t happen here, but a full 5 months of peace in my head seems unrealistic now. I’ll have to deal with it, even here. I want to be with my friends, to be comforted by their presence and at the same time, I want them to stay away from me.